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19.
Beggarstaff Brothers on another wall.
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I
was thinking about the place I lived before this one. The apartment
on the same street I first lived on when I was a toddler, three-quarters
of a mile northwards.
When
I moved out of that old place, it felt under duress. I had ended
a relationship of five years, I had wanted to live there on my
own. So many things prevented me from doing that, and so that
last day, while I was waiting for Janet the ornery landlady to
come by and inspect my cleaning work, I took a few photos.
I
felt like sharing, because at times that apartment made me very
happy, even though ultimately I am very glad I am in a new place
with a new context surrounding me.
Isn't
that always the way?

view
from standing near the front door to the apartment, looking from
dining room to living room. I loved that archway very much.

The
last remnants of a life - cleaning supplies, nearly-dead plant
filtched from work, computer hooked up so I could keep up on freelance
stuff until the phone line went live at the new place. This is
looking from the living room through the arch into the dining
room.

The
very top of the arch. The fixtures I believe are original to the
building, and would likely fetch a pretty penny from antique dealers
and restoration freaks. Some of the wood was warped and pulled
away from the walls because the building was not level at all,
but from a short distance, you couldn't even tell.

There
were cabinet shelves at the bottom legs of the archway, and I
used them to put all my children's literature and my mapbooks.
That's me in the reflection, sitting on the floor and taking a
picture. That hardwood flooring was throughout the three bedroom,
except in the kitchen, where it was covered over by checkered
black and white lino that had definitely seen better days.
I
thought about some feelings I had for this place, and how to describe
them, but it's so easy to take the maudlin route when writing
about decisions and moving and changing things up in a grasping
hope for better days. So I'll just leave you the pictures for
now. In your mind you can fill in cushions and stacks of books
and Persian-style rugs and lots of clutter and a baskets of blankets
and too many remote controls and a table full of papers and junk.
Sunshine would just fall into the place in huge splashfuls, through
tree branches and window shades. At night, sometimes the only
illumination would be a few strings of white string lights, some
candles, the overhead lamp from the kitchen streaming through
the door in a very solid domestically yellow sort of way.
Home
is very important to me.
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